The DIY vs the clean crisp website (from a-n)

 

My website is like a studio to me. I can’t seem to settle on the layout that surrounds my work. The previous version is the chroma key blue background that looks very DIY, similar to the 90s/early 00s personal websites, but I have made it clean and crisp. I like them both, but ultimately have chosen the clean website, because it’s institutionalised as something to aspire to. Sometimes I have to admit that I can’t fight it all.

It looks destructive at first, because I’ve culled many of my works from the site, but it might be a signal that I’m finally committing to a visual language: the diagrammatic lines from using Adobe Illustrator.

I’ve had to rewrite my artist statement (this is the same as my website, constantly changing). I aimed to make it more positive and highlight the highlights of my artistic endeavour. This is a pick me up after learning about being rejected from something I applied to.

It’s also how I know that I have imposter syndrome, because my achievements fail to align with how I feel internally. I still feel like the time when I got into a fight with my friend when we were 18, and she called me a loser.

 

Random observation (but wholly inaccurate because I probably projected)

I just have to add this, but it’s not relevant to the text above. In a neurodivergence context, it’s dolphining. Anyway, I’ve noticed that established artists and musicians are becoming more active in dropping products and having concerts recently. I’m seeing My Chemical Romance next month at Wembley, and it’s making me notice this trend of famous and eminent people coming out to perform again. This is making me suspicious, and it’s telling me it’s very bad for arts and culture.

Back when I was 20, I would have thought it was great as an unaware consumer or envious of the tie-dye t-shirts going for more than £150, but now it’s signalling that even established artists are struggling. Instead of enjoying security, they are working again or working harder. To me, there is no surer sign that money isn’t coming into these industries. I think it was Guy Standing who wrote about the emerging class of the precariat, and it’s likely that this is happening in these industries, but even beyond. The established individuals only have the advantage of institutional belonging, but not necessarily monetary security.