Serendipity in misfortune

Just a quick note to write that I'm managing to find a way to include my years of working in the food production industry in my research endeavours and research proposal. It's just because I don't want to lose a decade of my work with nothing to show for it (and I don’t want to think I worked there for the profit to go into someone’s back pocket. Monetary profit yes, but intellectual profit no - see Marx’s theory of alienation- but I’m transferring intellectual profit from one field to another that wouldn’t give me intellectual property rights once I sign a contract, so how’s that different?*). Even though it's not the work that's aligned with my art and passion, I still don't want to see it go to waste. I can't write any further in the public space (I'm dying to share it though - how it would help with my research).

I modified the absurd trolley problem diagram. In my brain, I'm thinking that doing a PhD is like being a bee who stings a threat. It's bad for the individual bee, but good for the colony, even though no one likes it when bees attack - People don't like it when someone does a PhD when they don't see the tangible benefits to society. I put the text, butterfly effect pointing to the wings, because the actions of free will and conformity affects people's behaviour nearby and then it dominoes in society. I'm having some strange discourse within myself about university vs work

Sliding doors.mp3

I'm starting to frame the misfortune of being pushed out of the industry as the universe's way to nudge me off of what it considers to be the wrong path for me. I secretly believe that maybe we're born with some kind of pre-agreed plan of what we'll do, the people we meet and what our life purpose is. Maybe I deviated from my plan so far the universe had to step in.

*Ever watched the Dreamworks film, Antz and relate to how it comments on this human condition in society? I saw it when I was a young kid and knew this is grim, this is life.

Someone actually made a video analysis about this! https://youtu.be/XuQUuBBrCPg?si=sdRHEQ9nzlvqAZXO

Avoid being a Cassandra.mp3

I think it’s more worthwhile to find a way to pacify this grim reality by being mendacious whilst compassionate at this point, rather than changing anything of the system. I don’t see how we can change something like capitalism without it going even more dystopian. I don’t believe in a promised utopian future without strings attached. 

Someone told me years ago to think of localised instead of global utopia.